how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
