Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
