I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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