Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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