Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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