idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
