idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
