Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
