She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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