also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
