Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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