So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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