This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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