life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
