Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
