I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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