using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
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There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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