You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
