On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
