I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have demons in me.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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