Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
