If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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