This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
