my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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