She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
