i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
