Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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