Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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