guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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