brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
