If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
