so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
