You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
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there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
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She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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