what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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