Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize