I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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