Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
