that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
