new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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