You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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