U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
