Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
