bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
