wanna go halves on a baby?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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