Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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