she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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