I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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