She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
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before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
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The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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