Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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