I bet he comes in French.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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