So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
