it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
