I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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