She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
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Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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