is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
