Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
