i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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