I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
