dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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