Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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