Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
