so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
