my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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