let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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