looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
