At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
