New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
