I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
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"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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