I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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