I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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